Forgiveness

 

Some things are unforgiveable.

 

Did you ever say that? Did you ever think that? Did anything happen to you, or did anyone hurt you so deeply that you felt you could not forgive them? Take that a step further. Did anyone hurt someone you love, which is often worse than someone hurting you, and you just couldn't bring yourself to forgive them? If so, you're not alone. In fact, I doubt anyone who has ever lived could honestly say they haven't had a difficult time forgiving someone. Sometimes it feels impossible. 

Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing.

I witnessed that yesterday when I watched Charlie Kirk's memorial service. I saw a lot of things that made my heart feel full, happy, and hopeful. But I did not expect to see what I did when his beautiful wife walked up to the podium to speak about her husband.

• She took a deep breath.
• She looked up and whispered his name.
• She talked about his life, his mission, and his faith. 
• She smiled, she cried, and she shocked us all.

She forgave. 

Erika Kirk did not only forgive the people that are celebrating her husband's murder. The ones justifying his death because they didn't agree with him. The people that are maligning his name. The people that are taking his words out of context and accusing him of speaking hate. No. Not them. That would have been one thing. That would have been difficult enough. But she didn't just forgive them. Erika Kirk forgave Charlie's assassin. 

How?

When I heard the words, "I forgive him." it broke me. I have had a lot of terrible things done to me. I have had unspeakable things done to people I love the most in this world. Could I do that? Could I stand there, in front of millions of people, and forgive them for what they have done? Could I look into my own heart, alone in my room, and forgive them? I don't know the answer to that. 

• I wish I could. 
• I hope I would. 
• But could I?
• Would I?

How many times a day do we get offended and hold onto it? We replay it over and over in our minds and let it ruin our day. Sometimes it spills over to the next day. And the next. Before long, the small offense makes its way into the topic of every conversation. It steals the joy of today and taints the days to come. 

Not all things that need forgiving are small offenses. Sometimes it's a cruel comment. Sometimes it's a betrayal. And sometimes it's unthinkable. A trauma that leaves you shattered, broken, and never the same after you wake up from what seems like a nightmare. 

That's when forgiving seems impossible. 

But it's not. It's not impossible. How do I know that? Because God told me that nothing is impossible with Him. (Luke 1:37) This is how I know. God gives us the power to forgive. He is not a magician who waves his magic wand and erases the past. He's not the Tooth Fairy who sprinkles amnesia dust in your face, although sometimes I wish He would. Forgiving would be so much easier if we could forget what was done to us. Unfortunately, we can't forget the past. But it is possible to move out of the past and the pain. It's possible to move on, live, and be happy again. 

• That takes time.
• That takes work.
• That takes God.

Holding on to hurt doesn't hurt the one who caused that pain. It only hurts us and those around us. To relive the pain over and over takes away so much more than they already have. It gives them power. It gives them the freedom that you don't experience. So don't do it. Don't hand them that power. They can't hurt you anymore. You're safe. It's over. It's time to heal. Choose forgiveness and live happily ever after, after. After you forgive. 

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, 

your Father will not forgive your sins.

-Matthew 6:14-15