Rest In Peace, My Friend

Death is a part of life, right?

Then why is it so difficult to process this fact when someone we love passes away? We go through life every day, not really thinking much about death. We usually do some version of the same thing day in and day out. Sometimes we take a vacation or do something out of the ordinary, but for the most part, life is predictable.  

• We wake up.
• We get ready for our day.
• We work.
• We play.
• We see family.
• We see friends.
• We go to sleep. 
• We wake up again.

Until we don't. Because one day we won't.

Today started out like one of these ordinary days. Soon, it became obvious there was nothing ordinary about it. Today I lost a friend. I had been working part-time as a personal care aide for over three years with a wonderful, sassy, strong lady. She was the biggest Phillies and Eagles fan I have ever known. She had a better memory at 91 than I do at 57. She loved to read and do puzzles. She taught me how to cook hamburgers with Worcestershire sauce and make goulash. She loved decorating for every holiday and inspired me to do the same.  Her mind was still as sharp as ever in her last days. She had a hard life, but she never complained about it. Instead, she would often say, "You can't take the good without the bad." and "God will take us home when it's our time."

Today, it was my friend's time.

I walked into her apartment for the very last time. This morning was not like any other morning. As much as I thought I prepared myself for this day, I wasn't ready. I wanted it to be the same as it always was. But it wasn't. Today was different.

• When I walked in, she didn't open her eyes.
• When I said her name, she didn't answer me.
• When I cried by her bedside, she didn't wake up and ask why I was upset.
• When I told her I loved her, she didn't respond with "I love you too."

Yes, today was different. It was unpredictable. It was the day I had to say my final goodbye to my friend. It's a day I will always remember. It's also a day the nation will remember.

September 10, 2025.

My day began at 7am with me saying goodbye to a dear friend. At 3:11 I received a text from my son which read, "Charlie Kirk shot in the neck at Utah Valley University." Texts continued for the next few hours in our family group chat. At 4:57 I received the news I was dreading. "Charlie Kirk is dead." 

I immediately started crying again. But not like earlier this morning. Not tearing up. Not a quiet cry. Bawling. Ugly, I can't catch my breath kind of crying. And I can't tell you how long it lasted. I felt like a family member had died. This was almost too much to bear.

I expected my friend to pass away. She had been on hospice. Her body was slowing down. She got thinner every day. She was almost 92 years old. I knew logically she wouldn't and couldn't live forever. But Charlie Kirk? I did not expect that. He was 31 years old. He was a husband and a father to two beautiful children. He was making a difference in this world. He stood for America. He stood for the unborn. He stood for families. He stood for truth. He stood for open communication. He stood for Jesus. 

I will never understand why a young wife will have to live without her loving husband and two beautiful children will have to live their lives without their dad. Their dad, who fought so hard to communicate the importance of a father in a child's life. Just because this is heartbreaking and we can't understand the whys of it all, one thing I do know is, God knows.

• God's thoughts are not our thoughts.
• God's ways are not our ways. 
• God's plans are not our plans. 

And I thank God for that. 

If they were, I never would have met my dear friend, because I did not want to take this case three years ago. I never would have had the honor and privilege of spending the last years of her life with her. I never would have been able to walk her home the morning of September 10, 2025, just 26 days short of her 92nd birthday. 

If they were, our country would not be standing up for our faith and beliefs more than ever. There wouldn't be tens of thousands of new chapter requests within hours of his passing. There wouldn't be thousands of people hearing his message, who, before September 10th, didn't even know his name. 

This is truly a Turning Point for our nation. The Youth of this nation, dare I say the world, are searching for something to believe in. They are turning to Jesus for that answer. Charlie Kirk is pointing them, and the rest of us, to the only One who can save our families, our nation, and ourselves. 

So, in this next season as I face an uncertain future, I will trust in Him. I will remember, what my friend  taught me. You can't take the good without the bad, and you never know when God will call you home. So, I think I'd better live my life to the fullest, proclaim my faith boldly like Charlie, count my blessings every day, and not waste another moment worried about what comes next. As I've said before, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future. It is a future without my friend, and a future without Charlie Kirk, and that is sad for me, as it is for many others. But knowing they are in the arms of Jesus gives me comfort, and they will both live forever in my heart and in the hearts of everyone who loved them. It is so incredibly sad for those of us who have been left behind, as we navigate life without them, but they are at peace. They both loved Jesus, so I know that they are undoubtedly living their happily ever after, after. 

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. 

There will be no more death

or mourning or crying or pain.

- Revelation 21:4a