My Seniors

Senior. 

That word can mean different things in the English language. To me, it means change. Yesterday was a particularly emotional day for me. I moved my Senior into his college home for the last time. These past three years have really flown by. It is almost incomprehensible how my little boy, who had no interest in school when he was five years old, is now entering his Senior Year as a finance major with an IT minor. Through the years, he has consistently met or exceeded the academic goals he has set for himself, overcoming obstacles to reach them all.

This year, he will apply to jobs, opening up his search to surrounding states with the possibility of moving out permanently. That is not something I am looking forward to at all, but with growth comes change. And change can be good, even if it doesn't feel good while we are adjusting to it. So what do we do? 

• We keep moving.  
• We keep growing.
• We keep learning. 
• We keep changing
• We keep adjusting.

The senior year of college can be very challenging, as students navigate the transition from student life to the workforce. It is a time when students look forward to the future, but may not feel in control of their futures at all.

Yesterday, as we moved my son into his house, I felt excited for him. At the same time, I felt sad for me as we said goodbye and watched him wave from the front porch of his latest, temporary home. I cried and I prayed. I have full confidence God will be with him this year, just as He always has been. And that is comforting to a mom who wants to be the one to take care of him. Always. 

Later that night, Senior meant something entirely different to me.

I sat by the bedside of a client of mine whom I have taken care of for the last three years. She began as a client, but now I call her friend. She is just shy of her 92nd birthday and she is on hospice. Her breathing is shallow. Her voice only a whisper. A slight head nod gives me answers to my questions. 

• Are you in pain?
• Can I get you anything?
• Are you thirsty?
• Are you comfortable?

This strong willed, opinionated, independent woman I met three years ago, is now frail, weak, and dependent. It is very difficult to look over and see a photo by her bedside of us celebrating her 90th birthday with a smile that could light up any room, strong, and just as sharp as anyone I've ever met. 

She has never lost her faculties. Her memory is better than mine. Her strength is unmatched to anyone I've ever known. When she would share stories of her life, which was riddled with pain and loss, she would remind me, "You can't take the good without the bad." God has a plan for our lives and she knew it. There is a beginning and an end. "The Lord will take me home when it's His time."

That time has come.

I had dreaded this day, as I had dreaded the day my father passed away a year and a half ago. I have never written about that day. I don't like to relive it. But today I am. I am reliving someone I love losing their senses one by one. I am reliving the hospice nurses saying, "It's time." I am reliving sitting by their bedside, recalling moments we shared, and thanking this person for what they taught me and for giving me the honor and blessing of knowing them. I am reliving saying goodbye. 

Just as I sat in the car waving goodbye to my son, I now sat by her bedside saying goodbye. Goodbye for now. I will see him again soon. This goodbye is not final. And although I will not see her again on this earth once she passes into eternity, this goodbye is also not final. We have some things in common to ensure that.

• We love Jesus.
• We trust Him as our Lord and Savior.
• We are confident we are going to Heaven.
• We know we will see each other again.

Saying goodbye is never easy. It may be saying goodbye to our High School Senior going off to college, the military, or into the working world. It may be, like me, our College Senior getting ready to graduate in less than a year with unanswered questions about their future. Or it may be an Elderly Senior who is leaving their earthly bodies and moving onto an eternity with Jesus, in a new body with no more pain or suffering. As exciting as that is for each of those Seniors, it is difficult for us who will be left behind and missing them. 

Today I am thanking God for my blessings, for the time I had with each of my Seniors, and looking forward to the wonderful future ahead of each of them as they enter their Happily Ever After, After. 

For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the Lord, plans to prosper you 

and not to harm you. Plans to give you 

 hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11