What is love?

If you asked that question to 100 people, you'd probably get 100 different answers. Ask a young child what love is, and their answer would probably be different than what a grandmother would say. What about a Christian and an athiest? A convict and a priest? A rich man and a poor man? A child with married parents, and a child of divorced parents? Simply asking a woman or a man what love is, you would probably get very different answers. Depending on your stage of life, your age, sex, and life experiences, you view love differently.

But what is love?
  • What does it feel like? 
  • What does it look like?
  • Is it a feeling?
  • Is it an action?
I can tell you what it is. 

Love is a command.

Because it's a command, it is clearly not a feeling. We can't always control how we feel, but we can control what we do. We can't control what other people say to us, but we can control how we react to what they say. We can't control other people's actions, as much as we may try to, but we can control how we act towards others. 

Years ago, my mother gave me a quote from another, more well-known mother, Mother Theresa. I was going through a rough time as a young mother. I was worrying too much about what other people thought of me, my parenting, and my children. I was also married to a not-so-sensitive husband who may or may not have hurt my feelings on occasion. Needless to say, I needed those wise reminders daily, so I hung it by desk and would see it every day when I went on my computer. It was probably a very good thing to have hanging there, because when I would receive a "not so kind" email, it would remind me to look past the person and straight to Jesus. It would help me to stop, pause, and not react the way my sinful, vengeful, broken heart wanted to at the time. Maybe you've heard the quote before. There are several versions of it, and the original was written by a man named Kent M. Keith in 1968, the year I was born. As it turns out, it is attributed to Mother Theresa because she had it hung in her home, like I had. I guess Mother Theresa needed reminders, just like me.

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway. 
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Theresa taught me that. But Jesus taught me this...  

If you do something to help someone, they may not appreciate it.
Love them anyway.
You may not understand someone's choices in life.
Love them anyway.
People may hurt you and never apologize.
Love them anyway.
When people are grumpy and negative.
Love them anyway.
You may be ignored and pushed aside by people.
Love them anyway.
Someone may twist your words or question your character.
Love them anyway.
Miserable people may try to bring you down with them.
Love them anyway.
Giving all you have to someone doesn't mean they'll do the same. 
Love them anyway.

Friends, although you can feel love for someone, love is not a feeling. Love is an action. There are plenty of times we need to show love to someone who, quite frankly, may be unlovable. We expect others to treat us the way we would like to be treated, but what often happens is that we get treated the way people want to treat us, not the way we want to be treated. 

Just love them.

It's not always easy. It's not always our first instinct. Especially when people are being rude, argumentative, difficult, or just plain mean. But we are called to love. So love your children, your spouse, your neighbor, your friends, and yes, the gruff cashier at the supermarket. Just love. You will find that it changes your heart and also softens others. This way, you may live happily ever after, after. After you choose to love. 

My command is this: 
Love each other as I have loved you.

-Jesus, John 15:12

Above all, love each other deeply,
because love covers over a multitude of sins. 

- 1 Peter 4:8


 

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